I turned and looked at the photo of my class at school, taken when l was 10. l seemed to detect something that had eluded me previously. To my surprise, l must admit, l don't know who l am. Not at all... l've always done as l was told. As far as l can remember, l've been obedient, well-adjusted, almost meek. l did assert myself once or twice as a girl, but mother punished all such lapses from convention with exemplary severity. My entire upbringing was aimed at making me agreeable. l was ugly and graceless. A fact l was constantly reminded of. But if l kept my thoughts to myself and was ingratiating, my behavior yielded rewards. The real deception began at puberty. My every thought revolved around sex. But this l never told my parents or anyone at all, for that matter. Being deceitful and secretive became second nature to me. My father wanted me to become a lawyer like himself. l said l wanted to be an actress, or do something else within the theatrical world, but they laughed at me. Since then l go on pretending. A sham in my relations to others. To men. The same sham, a desperate attempt to please. l've never considered what l want. Just: 'What does he want me to think? lt's not unselfishness, as l used to believe, but sheer cowardice. lt stems from being ignorant of who l am. Our mistake was in not breaking free of our families and creating something worthwhile on our own terms.
— Ingmar Bergman, Scenes from a Marriage
Directed by
blitz theatre group
Dramaturgy
blitz theatre group
Νikos Flessas
Assistant Director
Michalis Mathioudakis
Scenic design
Eva Manidaki ↗
Lighting design
Tassos Palaioroutas
Choreography
Katerina Papageorgiou
Performers
Aggeliki Papoulia
Christos Passalis
Giorgos Valais
Klavdia Zarafonitou
BIOS ↗
Athens, 2009
Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
and think of you
Caught up in circles
Confusion is nothing new
Flashback, warm nights
almost left behind
suitcases of memories,
time after-
Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
what you've said-
Then you say -go slow-
I fall behind-
The second hand unwinds
If you're lost you can look -and you will find me
time after time
If you fall I will catch you -I'll be waiting
time after time
Junior,
I remember one night in the Big City, I was carrying a big bag, very heavy, I don’t remember why it was that big, maybe I was planning to stay there for many days, I remember, I was carrying this bag, I could not really carry it anymore and it was night and there was this fog in the Big City, this wet thing… and I was going really far, I don’t remember where the bus station was and I was carrying this bag, I couldn’t carry it anymore and I put it down and started dragging it. And for a second, so to speak, I stopped and saw this thing and this fog around me and it so felt like this thing around me had got into me, like I was carrying so much pain, this feeling that it isn’t worth it, that it is meaningless, there’s reason for that, it is more than I can stand.
Johnnie B
Carou, dear heart,
Listen to this: Lord, stay by me And don’t go down I’ ll never be free if I am not free now. Lord, stay by me and don’ t go down, I never was free What are you talking about? Last night, I saw a flooded house on the news. In the living room, the furniture was floating. The title was: Under the waters.
I kiss you,
Ouko
